The two most frequently asked questions I’ve heard lately are, “Are you scared?” and “How does your wife feel about this, is she scared?“
Am I scared? To be honest, yes I am. But my fear is less of the procedure itself and more about what will come after. My fear is related to post-surgical concerns. Will I be able to change my lifestyle and be compliant with the necessary changes? Will the surgery prevent me from ever returning to many of the foods I enjoy, even if eaten in moderation? Will the surgery be enough of a physical success to allow me to tackle the emotional side of this battle?
I can’t say that I am too worried about the procedure itself. That is not due to some misplaced macho superiority complex. The reality is, I can’t imagine this surgery hurts as much as passing a 13mm kidney stone through a part of my anatomy that was designed for liquid exit-only. I am sure there will be discomfort, but for a change, I will have a surgical procedure that has a result I can really look forward to.
As far as the risks, I know there are risks. I compare them to the risks of going on a roller coaster. There is a possibility the car can go flying off the tracks, but we trust the builder enough to take the chance. In the same manner, I trust Dr. Wallace and his staff enough that the reward far outweighs the risk. Dr. Wallace and his program did not develop the reputation they have by letting the car go flying of the tracks.
As for my wife, her fears are the exact opposite of mine. She is far more scared that I will not come out of the surgery this week. Beyond that, she is terrified that there will be some long-term complication that will drastically alter my life, and not for the better. Part of this fear has to do with her father passing away when she was 9 years old. Part of it is also from watching me have repeated surgeries over the last 10 years. And generally there is some mild complication.
She is genuinely excited about the changes that this surgery will begin to bring. And for her, the risks seem to be outweighed by the long-term risks of doing nothing.
To sum it up, my wife is worried I’m going to die, and I’m worried I’m going to screw everything up. Between us, I think we have all the bases covered. That being said, I would ask all of you who read this to keep my family and me in your thoughts and prayers. Surgery is two days away. The next time you here from me, I will officially be “post-op”.
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I will be right there with you on Thursday - but I'm first!! I look forward to walking the halls with you until we go home. Thank you for sharing - I am having a lot of the same thoughts!!
I will you all the luck and I will pray for you. I have a friend that will be going thur the same thing Oct 6th and i will be there for her when she comes out of surgery.
Thanks, Scott, for sharing your thoughts. I'm enjoying reading your blog and find it both reassuring and informative. Hope you don't mind, but I've shared this website with several of our relatives; I hope those contemplating the same path you have chosen will be both encouraged and inspired. I'm very proud of you, not only for taking the time to chronicle your journey, but for many other reasons as well.
Lots of Love, Aunt Valli
Hi Scott, It is Linda again. Well, the prayers have went up and waiting to hear your success story. I pray for a speedy recovery for you and Diane. I too am having some of the same feelings you and your wife have however I haven't shared these thoughts with anyone other then you now and the readers. So please also keep me in your prayers as my surgery is not far off (Oct. 14th). God Bless you and your family.