Thoughts from the Happy Fat Guy

So what was the catalyst for exploring bariatric surgery? Well, it's not like I woke up one morning and had an epiphany about my weight. I didn't look in the mirror a few months ago and suddenly realize for the first time in my life that I was obese. Trust me when I tell you that the secret is out. I know that I weigh 365 pounds. There is no denial involved here. I don't think there ever has been.

I have however been blessed with a wife and children who love me for who I am, not what I weigh. I know all the self-help theories. "You have to want to change for yourself, not for others." Blah, blah, blah. Obviously I have to make a decision to change myself. But it is easier to ignore the hard facts staring back at you when those around you don't seem to mind.

I have reached a point where I do want to change for myself. But I can't deny that I am making this change just as much for the benefit of those around me. As much as I didn't have a flash of inspiration, some things have become very clear to me. I confess to being a Christian. But what kind of Christian can I be at this weight? As a man of God, my family should be one of the most important things to me in this world. By risking diabetes, heart disease, and possibly premature death, what kind of father and husband am I? By being overweight, what kind of increased risk am I exposed to at work? How can I profess to the healing power of Christ while eating myself into an early grave?

Yes, I have to change for myself. But just like every other decision we make in life, there is a domino effect. This surgery will be a change where I fully expect to see a dramatic improvement in my quality of life. Anything that improves my quality of life will have a direct and positive impact on the quality of life of those around me. Adversely, if I do nothing, the negative consequences will ripple through the lives of everyone I know as well as those I will never have the benefit of meeting. I may not have had an epiphany, but I certainly have evolved in accepting that my poor choices could have very real consequences to many people beyond myself.

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The following is feedback received for this blog:

Scott, I was simply attempting to access the website for employment purposes, when I saw your photo, and thought, "Gee, that looks a lot like Scott Youngblood!". I read what you wrote, and I can definitely relate. All I really can say is that I've discovered that general diets never worked for me either, and that I learned why.The way I see it is that everybody, as well as every body is different. That is to say that one would not maintenance a Porsche the same way one would a Dodge. Nor does one put in the same types of fluids or even the same gasoline. If this is true, how can a universal diet work on an individual basis? I've found what at least works best for me: A bit of the gym, dancing (really works), and a food intake system that I got out of a publication. But even this I needed to personalize. What this all boils down to, Scott, is keep trying, and tweek everything until it starts to work, then tweek it again. Then, do what the nurses tell you! Lastly, don't worry, if you are even half the father/husband that you are when I see you, then I really have a problem discerning who, in fact, is more blessed, you, or your family. Keep pushin', your the best. -Mez

Other than when I was a small child I don’t recall ever being small. As a freshman in high school I was 6’02” and 225lbs. I was always fortunate to be tall and large framed. There was always the built-in excuse that I didn’t look heavy for my height. Comments like, “You don’t weigh that much, do you?” have been a part of my life for over 20 years. That was always just enough to make me feel that my weight wasn’t that big of an issue. Obviously, I was wrong. Even once I knew I was grossly overweight, people would say, “Yeah, but your tall”, as if this somehow made me less fat.

For over fifteen years, I have been trying different things to lose my weight. The list is long and intensive. As I sit here and reflect on these attempts, I can’t tell you the frustration, disappointment and shame that I feel. I have learned a few valuable lessons though. Those diet shakes are great, especially if you drink a couple to get you through that pesky downtime between meals. The four food group’s diet doesn’t work either. I know this because those tacos on the Taco Bell diet had all four food groups at once and I still gained weight. Also, the exercise benefit of walking is usually negated by what you take out of the fridge when you get up and walk to it.

The realities of the risk factors in my life are frightening as well. My dad has been overweight most of my life. He had a stroke before he was 60. Three of his brothers and sisters have died of heart disease prematurely. I watched my mother have quadruple heart bypass eleven years ago before she was 55. She also has been overweight most of my life. When you look at my family history, it amazes me that our cat and dog lived as long as they did. As for my own risk factors and symptoms, there are the obvious ones. High blood pressure, high cholesterol, severe sleep apnea. One of the not so common ones is chronic kidney stones that are aggravated by my weight and diet. To say that my weight adds stress and anxiety to our family is an understatement.

Most importantly, my obesity affects the everyday events of my life. I am a father of three young children. There are games I can’t play with them. My weight constantly interferes with my daily activities with my family. In future weeks I will talk honestly and openly about my weight. More importantly, I will discuss my journey as I walk towards bariatric surgery. I am not a medical expert. I offer no medical diagnosis or answers. What I will offer is honest discussion and views of a man who has struggled with his weight for a lifetime and is now beginning the process of doing something about it.

As I chronicle my journey, please feel free to leave me your thoughts through the feedback link below each post. I won't be able to answer all comments, but I will answer some and the comments will help me with ideas on this blog.