Thoughts from the Happy Fat Guy

After my initial consult with Dr. Wallace and the team at Froedtert, I called my urologist to get his input regarding the surgery. I spoke to his longtime office assistant and told her why I wanted to speak with the doctor. I have known this woman for over 10 years now. Her reaction was one of shock at what I was considering.

"Why on Earth would you do that Scott? You're really not that overweight! You are not obese!"

After a moment, I realized how absurd it was that I was actually debating the fact of my obesity with someone. In hindsight, I find it humorous that I was having a schoolyard argument with someone in the medical field about my weight.  "You are not fat!"  Yes, I am, so there!

So why surgery? Why now? Unlike a lot of people who have had weight loss surgery, there was no defining moment when I realized I had to do this. For me, it has been a series of events over the last fifteen years of my life. There are certainly moments though that stand out in my mind. Going to Great America years ago and finding out that I couldn't go on certain rides because they could not safely secure the harness around me. Taking my family to a NASCAR Speedpark and not being able to ride in the go carts with them because I didn't fit. Being afraid that if I gained one more size, I wouldn't be able to get a duty belt I needed for work. Going in for a kidney stone surgery and being told that I was too big for the lithotripsy machine. And when they took me to a different machine, not fitting in the equipment. Having the seat welds break on a new car after only a few months. I can promise that those of you who have not struggled with your weight do not understand the humiliation of things like this.  

You also can not imagine how this is an everyday struggle.  Not being able to fit in a chair at work. Being afraid that even if you do fit, it is going to break under your weight. Trying to fit into a car that is not made for people your size. Putting off buying clothes because you really don't want to make another trip to the "Big Man" shop. My weight is a consideration in almost every decision I make on a daily basis.   

So when I reflect on all of the things I've missed out on in life, the effect my weight has on the simplest daily activities, and the humiliation that goes along with the "oh crap!" moments, the question changes from, "Why now?" to "Why not sooner?"