It can be very easy to take your partner (spouse, significant other, fiancée, boy/girlfriend) for granted, especially if you have been together for a long time (what that time frame is can be very different for everybody). One way this can happen is the time we spend with said partner becomes shorter as other people, events, life, take place.
The reason I am discussing this is that some patients wonder why their sex life is starting to diminish. When asked about their history, they often have kids, work (sometimes more than one job), and are involved in countless activities — whether it be their kids' activities (soccer moms) or their own (book clubs, PTA, etc...).
I too am guilty of this phenomenon. I find myself spending Sunday morning with my friends for coffee since my husband is typically working on the house. However, we make sure we have date night once a week. We have the luxury of not having children. I have patients who have to work two jobs to support themselves or have three children under the age of five.
It takes a lot of effort to spend time with your partner, however, it doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive or particularly long either. Take five minutes before going to bed to talk to your spouse. Dinner time (or any mealtime, as long as you guys are together) even with your kids can be a time to share your day. Instead of the next hair cut or golf game, pencil in your spouse.
You need that connection to keep a relationship, you need that connection for sex. You need time to make that connection.
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