A patient told me once that she would like to continue to be sexually active because she had a psychological need to be connected with her husband. I was pleasantly surprised because of her candidness, her honesty, and frankly, I had never had anyone express this particular reason to me before. My patient is over the age of fifty and has been married over twenty five years.
I have certainly heard other reasons:
- My husband is still quite virile and I want to keep up.
- I would like to still be physical with my husband.
- My husband misses it.
- I miss it.
- It makes me feel good.
- My husband might divorce me if I don’t do something. (My favorite ... I’m being facetious.)
- I love my husband and I want to continue this.
- We have a good marriage except this part.
- I want to continue to please my husband.
- My husband wants me to enjoy this too.
I think what impressed me was her articulation of sex beyond the physical. Her comment has clearly stuck with me.
I always counsel my patients that the brain is the biggest sex organ and sometimes we have to fix things from the top down. It’s more than just the vagina or penis or things working or not. It’s even more than just a feeling. It’s a psych thing.
| | The following is feedback received for this blog:
Great post. New to your blog, but you got great writing style. You had some very interesting points that I liked. Looking forward to more of your thoughts.
- Singing Bowl Crystal |