Sexual Compatibility. How important is this issue? I raise a potentially controversial topic. How much does one disclose to a potential mate about a potential sexual problem? How important is it to “test the merchandise” so to speak, before buying it?
I am not taking a stance whether or not one must have pre-marital sex or not. But I do see a fair number of patients whose husband/wife was their only partner. And in many religions, abstinence before marriage is practiced. So sometimes the problem doesn’t present itself until after they are married. But it doesn’t happen just to this group.
A friend recently divulged to me that she and her husband are having problems in the sexual arena. What surprised me is that they knew they were not sexually attracted to each other before they got married. They loved each other but there was no sexual spark.
Sex is a critical part of a marriage. But we also know that for most marriages, as the couple gets older and the marriage progress, the amount of sexual activity decreases. So does one give up a potential mate, who would make a devoted partner, a loving parent, a spouse for life, for sexual satisfaction?
What do you think?
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Responding to the last paragraph...
"Till death do us part," not "Till the sex isn't good or runs out." (Right?) Society assumes since you're married, you're taken care of sexually, so you're forgotten about. The truth isn't even close and it can be a tragic dilemma for one spouse: Do you divorce and throw away an otherwise good marriage, with all you've been through together, with financial stability and companionship and security, maybe with kids still at home -just so you can be intimate with someone else in a relationship that's socially acceptable? Maybe loose somebody you'd like to grow old with. Or do you "cheat?" Is that word apply if you're not having sex at home? Shouldn't the one not needing sex be perfectly OK with the other one having a sexual partner on the side, since sex isn't part of the marriage anyway? Or do you just give up on your needs for the rest of your days? I doubt that counseling or therapy or drugs can help here.