Thoughts from the Happy Fat Guy

It can be easy to forget how many things an extra 130 pounds kept me from doing. When obesity is your life, you learn to adapt. There are things you don't even bother to attempt because you know that physically you will be unable to do them. There are stores and shops you don't bother to go to because you know it will be a waste of time. There are activities you won't put on your agenda because you know you won't be able to enjoy them. This is what your life becomes. And just like any habit, you don't give it a second thought after awhile. You accept this as your reality and move on.

We recently took a camping trip to St. Louis, and I experienced firsthand how much this surgery has changed my life. We went to Six Flags St. Louis. Probably doesn't sound like a big deal. You have to remember though that my children have never been to Six Flags until I had this surgery. The simple fact was that I knew I wouldn't fit on the rides my kids would want to go on. How do you explain that to an 8-year-old? Sorry, but daddy is too fat for that ride, and the other ride, and all the rides for that matter. This time it was different. I fit on everything. For the first time in many years I went to a park and had no restrictions. I took my daughter on every roller coaster there, twice. The joy that this brought me is immeasurable.

We visited the Gateway Arch. Truly a marvel of modern design and engineering. To get to the top of the Arch, though, you have to ride in a tram car. A really small tram car. There is no way I could have fit in that car with my family before the surgery. I would have needed a separate car to ride up in. The reality is I probably would have made some lame excuse to not even go up because I wanted to avoid the embarrassment.

Gift shops are another place I avoided. When you wear a 4XL shirt, there really is no need to walk into a gift shop. You know there will be nothing there for you anyway. However on this trip, I was able to come home with a few nice mementoes. This even applies to regular stores. This last week, there was a benefit dinner honoring my mother who passed away. Problem was I found out the night before that it required business dress. Needless to say, none of my dress clothes from before my surgery fit. Instead of panicking, I was able to walk into Kohl's and find a nice outfit, that fit, and was on sale. 

Has this been a perfect journey with no bumps? Absolutely not. And as I get further out I am facing some new challenges. But I am beginning to experience just how life-changing this procedure can be. How many doors it can open that have been closed far too long.  It is a remarkable thing to begin to live life without the restrictions of obesity. Not only for me, but my family as well.

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The following is feedback received for this blog: Yahoo for Great America!! We went on Mother's Day and I too got on all the rides. Even on De Je Vu - and the last time I tried they kicked me off because they could not close the harness(how embarrassing). We walked and walked and I did not get tired - my family is loving it!! Keep up the great work and the sharing of your experience. - Diane

It’s hard to believe, but on March 18 it will be six months since I had my surgery. Even harder to believe is the fact that I have lost 120 pounds. People call me “slim” and make comments about how skinny I look. Maybe it’s a self image thing, but 250 pounds still doesn’t strike me as being skinny. That being said, I could not be happier with the weight loss I have achieved. To put it in perspective, in six short months I have lost a supermodel.

More important are the benefits I have seen in my health. I am off of all blood pressure medications. My blood pressure and pulse are lower now than when I was taking three medications a day to alter them. My cholesterol was 330 prior to surgery. I think the bacon may have played a small role in that. Now, it is 145. I am no longer using my CPAP machine for sleep apnea. The headaches that I used to get at least three times a week are gone. The constantly sore lower back and heel spurs are considerably improved.

There are many other benefits that are coming out. I have lost 12 inches in my waist, 10 inches from my chest and 4 inches from my neck. I have had the wonderful experience of buying underwear from Wal-Mart instead of the big man store. I was able to take advantage of a great sale at Boston Store where I got $500 worth of clothes for under $100. This is a store I would not have even stepped in for the last 15 years. And to be honest, there has been a noticeable improvement in my sex life. As if my wife needed more reasons than just my health for the surgical benefits.

Now, to answer a few questions. Yes, I still get hungry. This is a challenge I am still working on. I would be lying if I said it didn’t frustrate me at times. Hopefully Dr. Wallace won’t get too angry, but yes, I do have a dessert of some kind after dinner sometimes. It is no longer the extra large sundae from Culvers, but something simple like a popsicle or a pudding. I still do not enjoy working out. I do it, and I understand the necessity of it, but it still isn’t fun. Maybe when it warms up and I can get outside it will help. Yes, I still have cravings. I have had dreams about Solly’s. And in my dreams the burgers, fries and malt don’t taste as good as I know they do in real life. When we watch Man vs. Food every week there is at least one thing that makes me want to go to the destination city. Especially the doughnut place in Texas with hot, fresh-dipped doughnuts the size of your head. I also believe that the cows and pigs at the farm are laughing hysterically at the chickens because now their population is decreasing at the same alarming rate that their four legged friends were just six months ago.

And on to the most important question, do I have any regrets? No, not one. I am absolutely blown away by what I have been able to accomplish over these last six months. I though it would take at least a year to lose my first hundred pounds. Now, here I am only six months post-op, and I am 25 pounds away from my goal. Unbelievable. This has not been easy and it is not a quick fix. I do not have it all figured out and there are answers that I am still seeking. But knowing what I know now, would I do it again? In a heartbeat. For those of you who are considering the surgery or are recent graduates of it, please feel free to contact me with any questions or concerns you may have (use the Feedback link below). I am no expert and I will never pretend to be one. But I can offer a caring and compassionate ear and a perspective only those of us who have had the surgery have.

Here are some more before-and-after pictures. The old me on the left and me six-months post-op on the right:

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The following is feedback received for this blog: Congratulations on doing a great job!! I hit the 80 pound mark and feel really great too. I cannot believe it but I feel guilty if I take the elevator at work now and I am on the third floor!! The pictures look great and I know what you mean about the shopping - I am having a blast!! My daughter is having fun dressing me and I am actually looking at patterns and colors - a new one for me!! Thanks again for sharing - keep up the good work and hopefully I will see you at the lunch at the end of the month!! - Diane Hey Scott, I think that was really cool that you had the surgery not only for your health, but for the well of your family. I too am obese and have sleep apnea. Along with that, I have high blood pressure. I'm really scare to have this surgery. I know that I need it. I also snore. Did you snore before you had this surgery as well? I don't want to snore in bed with my lady friend anymore. I know that I interrupt her sleep. And I don't want to interrupt her sleep anymore. - Kevin Like you I have been "heavy" most of my life but hid it by "being tall". You made the choice in time before seeing some of the major health issues that obesity can bring. Unfortunately I have waited until many of them have reared the ugly head. I suffered with liver disease that eventually led to a liver transplant in September of 2002. Along with that I developed a plural effusion (fluid around the lung) that hampers my breathing. To make matters worse I also smoked about 2 packs of cigarettes a day a habit that I broke at Christmas of last year. I still have the COPD that resulted from this addiction along with hypertension, sleep apnea and recently diagnosed diabetes, all the symptoms that go along with a BMI of 39. What really got to me was that when I finally quit smoking I gained more weight. Even with eliminating as much sugar as possible and eating "low fat" foods I still gained weight. I also have been working out in the Cardio Pulmonary Rehabilitation Clinic at the VA. I have decided that I need to loose the weight to get the health issues under control and regain a normal healthy lifestyle. I just hope that I will be accepted into the program. As far as I can tell there has never been a surgical candidate who has had a liver transplant. - Mark

Don’t tell anyone, but I have a secret. I’m going to share it with you, but only because you all have been so supportive of me. This may come as a shock, but I think the economy may be taking a hit. If your house is anything like ours, you may have already noticed the changes affecting your family. But there is hope. Invest in fast food chains because as hard as things are getting, there never seems to be a shortage of cars at these businesses. I am beginning to think that fast food may be the cockroaches of the economic recession we are in. As everything falls down around us in an economic meltdown, there are still new happy meal toys for all.

So what does this have to do with weight loss? One of my common statements pre-op was, “how expensive it is to eat healthy.” Whenever I began to diet and try eating healthier, it always seemed that our grocery bill went up. This surgery has helped me realize that I was only half right. Yes, if you begin to watch what you eat, your grocery bill will go up. But as you spend more at the grocery store, you will notice something strange. You will actually have more money in your pocket. How does this work, you may ask?

If I asked you how much you spend at a grocery store in a month, you could probably give me a pretty close estimate. But, let me ask you a more difficult question. How much do you spend a month on food not bought in a grocery store? This includes the coffee stop in the morning, the vending machines throughout the day at work, the restaurants, and yes, all of the fast food. I guarantee that you have no real concept of how much of your money goes to these types of expenses.

I would like to challenge each of you to do something. For the next two weeks, keep track of every cent you spend on these items. Every trip to the drive-thru. Every soda and bag of chips bought out of a machine. Every half-caf double mocha chino espresso with foam and cream. Every drink at a bar. Anything you buy to eat or drink that didn’t come from a grocery store or your own house. I promise you that you will be shocked at the results. My family and I did this about two years ago as we made some drastic changes to our financial life. The results shocked even me. On average, at least $400 to $500 of our monthly income was going to eating out and vending crap.

Do we spend more at the grocery store since my surgery? Yes, we absolutely do. Consider this though, since my surgery five months ago, I have spent less than $20 at work. I have not ordered lunch once and the only thing I have bought out of a vending machine has been skim milk. I used to go through at least $50 a month just at work. Will you still see my family in the drive-thru lane? Yes you will. But it’s once a week instead of almost every day. What used to be a $500 a month expense is now about $100. As money becomes tighter, trust me when I tell you that this is an area where you can make your dollar stretch.

If you are brave enough, I would like to invite you to take the two-week challenge. Write it all down, every penny spent. And then, send my your number through the feedback mechanism on this blog (at the bottom of this post). You don't have to leave your name so rest assured that your name along with your number won't be posted for all to see. This newfound accountability is the first step in long-standing change. Next time, I will share even more money-saving advantages of my post-surgical life.

First I would like to apologize to all for the delay in an update. Over the holidays, I had an unexpected visit from the kidney stone fairy. She was sweet enough to allow me to welcome in the New Year with not one, not two, but three new additions to my kidney stone family. There was a positive though. In years past, a kidney stone over 4mm in size always resulted in surgical intervention for passage. Two of the kidney stones that I passed this time were 6mm and 4mm. They were passed with no surgery needed. They still hurt just as bad and yes, there was a need for “pharmaceutical assistance” with pain. For the first time in many years though I passed significant stones without surgery. I couldn’t tell you the reason for this. All I know is that after losing 90 lbs, I was able to pass stones that I could not before.

Now, on to the update. I am currently 4 months post-op and down 90 lbs. I am finally starting to really notice the physical changes to my body. I can look in the mirror and no longer look like I’m carrying twins. I have lost about 10 inches off my waistline. For my work as a sheriff, I wear a duty belt. That belt was on its last notch before surgery. Now, I have had to drill new holes into it to tighten it up. Cows around the world are rejoicing because it only takes one of them to make a belt for me.

Here's a new picture with me before on the left and me three-months post-op on the right.


Not all is perfect in my world of weight loss surgery though. Old habits die hard, and sometimes not at all. Prior to surgery, I was a boredom eater. I ate simply because I was sitting there and it was something to do. Lately, I am finding myself falling back into this habit of spectacularly stupid behavior. I find myself justifying it by saying, “It’s not so bad, I am eating the 100 calorie pack of snacks", or "It’s only a Weight Watcher piece of candy.”

The reality is I am beginning to see myself heading down a slippery and dangerous road. Many of my behaviors have changed for the better. I am eating healthier and less than before. I am exercising and living a more active lifestyle. I am making strides in my health that I never expected. But I am also beginning to struggle with things I wrestled with most of my life.

Up to this point, the tool of the surgery has been enough to make me successful. I think I am now entering a new phase of post-surgical life. I am reaching the fork in the road. One turn will take me down a road that leads to a healthier, happier me. The other goes down a road that I have spent most of my life on. What I am beginning to realize is that I have to face this fork in the road every morning that I wake up. The surgery will help give me direction, but it will never be able to choose the road for me. That is a decision I will need to commit to every day.

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The following is feedback received for this blog: Scott thanks for your candid comments. I am in the process of attending a seminar on Feb.5th. I look forward to a healthier, happy life. I am also in law enforcement since 1990 and I am 100lbs overweight. I think the hardest part is putting that gun belt on every morning. I look forward to loosening a notch in my belt the most of all. Keep me posted I enjoy your thoughts. - Jackie Scott, again, thanks for sharing. You look AMAZING! - Jen I am so happy you gave us an update. Sorry for the kidney stones. I have followed your story from the begining and was concerned when you had a lapse on the blog. Your humor is appreciated. I am happy for your weight loss success thus far. Your absolutly correct, whatever demons each of us has, we need to deal with as they are really I beleive the core of our problem/addiction whatever that may be. I wish you continued success. Dont be too hard on yourself. It sounds like you have a handle on your justifications.

Thanksgiving, a time for friends, family and food. Unfortunately, often in the rush of the holiday the meaning is lost. We spend our time preparing meals, preparing homes and getting ready for the dreaded “black Friday”. We may take time to say a quick prayer before the meal. Some families may even take a minute to say what they are thankful for. But really, how much time do we spend on Thanksgiving being thankful? I’d like to take a moment to tell you some of the things I am thankful for.

I am thankful that I was given a new lease on life. This surgery has literally been a life-altering process. It has allowed me to take control of my life in a way I never thought possible. I have made changes and seen progress in just ten weeks that I could not have imagined. Not to mention that due to the risk factors in my life as well as my newly discovered liver issues, this surgery is literally a life-saving experience. None of this would have been possible without Dr. Wallace and his staff. A staff that has walked with me every step of the way and been there for anything I needed. That applies to everyone in the practice. From Dr. Wallace, Deb and Nedra who have addressed every medical concern I’ve had all the way to Keri who handled the endless paperwork and insurance requirements. She was the first person I ever spoke to in the office and to this day is one of the nicest people I’ve never met.

I am thankful for family and friends that have been nothing but supportive. For co-workers who picked up the slack while I was out and now show genuine interest in my daily well-being. A pastor, who has become a great friend as well. For this Web site and the support and concern shown by those who have left feedback. For the opportunity that writing this blog has given me to touch the lives of others. We were put in each others paths to take this journey toward health and wellness by a God who knows what I need before I do. A father who tells me frequently how proud he is of me and the progress I am making. A wife who loved me when there was a lot more of me to love and continues to love me as we struggle and make these changes to our family.

I have a challenge now for all of you who are reading this. Take the time this year to truly reflect on what you are thankful for. Then, take some action. Say a prayer, not just a quick “Grace” but a real prayer of thanks. Pick up a phone, give someone a hug. Make sure that those for whom you are thankful know it. Don’t just assume they know. With each day we are given the opportunity to touch the lives of those around us. Make sure that for at least this day you take the steps needed to do this. And then, begin taking those steps every day.

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The following is feedback received for this blog: Scott: I think your blog is great. I especially liked the last line of your most recent blog, which should remind all of us, those who need to lose 10 pounds, 25 pounds, 60 pounds, or 100 pounds or more, that it needs to be a daily thing. You have to decide every day that you will do it right. Messing up one day doesn't blow the whole plan. Too many people see the big picture (60 pounds) and forget to look at the daily walk--the 1/2 pound or pound a week, or simply NOT gaining this week--that is necessary to achieve the bigger goal. Thank you for your transparency and your willingness to share your journey. It is an encouragement to many. -GR