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Reflections in a Head Mirror

Reflections - Archive

1/18/2011

What She Taught Me

Truth, and goodness, and beauty are but different faces of the same all.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson    

A smile filled her face eternally and she seemed incapable of ever being self-conscious. Despite that, the first time she arrived at my office for an appointment, my eyes were drawn — not to her smile or the twinkle in her eye, nor to the stark whiteness of her upper denture — but to the surgical scars crisscrossing her lower face and cheek. Each crevice darkened and became more distinct whenever she worked the few remaining muscles into a laugh. The lines glowed. “Here we go again!” she would chuckle. “Heading down that cancer road once more!” She would shake her head and close her eyes but keep on smiling.  

After that first office visit, I plowed into the paper medical records that she had assembled. Reviewing her old chart was an archeological expedition marked by the hieroglyphics of an earlier era. Many of the doctors listed had long since retired or died.  

The story slowly emerged. A tiny but slowly growing mass had first appeared in her cheek while Eisenhower was still president. When it finally became noticeable several years later, she had seen a surgeon. In his effort to remove the mass as completely as possible, he had rearranged her cheek skin and lips dramatically. “Thank goodness I was already married when I needed that surgery,” she chortled. “I was certainly a mess after that!”  

Her cancer stayed quiescent for ten more years before she developed more swelling and discomfort. Surgery was followed by radiation therapy. She told me that it had been rough but had not slowed her for long.  

Her life was a cancer life. She lived in an uneasy but cheerful balance with the disease — talking about it openly, knowing a bit too much about it, and realizing that it could reappear at any time.   

My contributions to her cancer care did not diminish her deformities. Despite her appearance and challenges, she volunteered regularly at two museums. She distributed chocolates to everyone she knew each Valentine’s Day. She read books to children. She traveled. She kept busy. She moved about her world with purpose and pleasure, her face be damned.  

Years later, after more surgery, another round of radiation therapy, and some futile attempts at chemotherapy, she announced with a smile, “I am finished now, Doctor. Don’t be mad, but I think it is time to let it go.”  

A few weeks later, as I sat at her bedside in the hospice, she opened her eyes for just a moment. A glimmer of a smile escaped and washed over the fading wounds. Before my eyes, I noticed — not the scars — but the marks of her grace-filled and gracious life.

   The following is feedback received for this blog:

Really, really touching tribute. Beautifully penned (as always)!

- Lucia



Yet another great entry Dr. Campbell. This one brought to tears to my eyes, just beautiful!


*Her life was a cancer life. She lived in an uneasy but cheerful balance with the disease - talking about it openly, knowing a bit too much about it, and realizing that it could reappear at any time.*

This hit me because it happens after years of dealing with cancer as a patient.

There are often times I think *cancer be damned* as well as face be *damned.* All the head and neck issues. I just make it point to move on and live life. Whats the point of surviving if you sit in the house and waste the time your given. Purpose grounds you and keeps you moving daily.

Thank you Bruce for writing such a beautiful tribute. It made me smile,cry and cherish the gifts and the hardships.

- Kerry
http://iftheresonethingiknow.blogspot.com/


Thanks, Dr. Campbell. You continue to help David and I to be better than we thought possible. You completely embody our ideals ; to provide compassionate, excellent care, in a 'real' person, to a patient we treat as a person, not a number. What an amazing mentor, even years later. Thank you. Our patients thank you as well...

- Lori Book
http://www.frendo.us


OK...you made me cry. I needed it. Thanks.
Posted 9:58 PM
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1/12/2011

Non-Frail

"If I’d known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself."
-Eubie Blake    

He leaned forward, energetically listening to my conversation with his daughter. There was more than one cancer treatment option. We reviewed everything and she asked what he could expect with either a major surgery or seven weeks of daily radiation treatments. Soon, both the father and daughter were peppering me with questions about timing, quality of life, side effects, and expectations.

The conversation continued for several minutes while I did my best to answer each concern. 

Finally, the big question emerged. The daughter took a breath. “Do you really think he could survive a big surgery, Doctor? After all, Dad is 90.”  

Their eyes swung toward me. Here was a man who looked a lot younger than the calendar would predict. He still gets outside and walks every day and is fully engaged with his world. But, true enough, he has lived a very long time.    

When I was first in training in the early 1980’s, we rarely operated on anyone who was over 70, thinking that "the elderly" were too likely to get very sick or die. Over the decades, as technology expanded and the population aged, the “ceiling” age climbed. Given the proper precautions, we found that we could safely operate on older and older individuals. We recognized that some of our patients were the “young old,” and some were the “old old.” It wasn’t very scientific, but it helped us make recommendations.   

A recent article takes a step forward in assessing the risks of performing surgery on older patients. In a paper entitled “Frailty as a Predictor of Surgical Outcomes in Older Patients,” Makary measured “frailty” in almost 600 people over 65-years-old who were preparing to have surgery. What constitutes “frail?” The researchers looked at five factors:
  • More than 10 pounds of unintentional weight loss
  • Decreased measured grip strength
  • Exhaustion as shown by the patient’s agreeing that “everything I did was an effort” or “I could not get going”
  • Reported very low leisure-time physical activity
  • Very slow walking speed (for example, 6 seconds to go 15 feet)  

 

Patients who had four or five of these characteristics were “very frail,” while patients who had two or three were “intermediately frail,” and patients with none or one were “non-frail.” The higher the preoperative frailty score, the more likely the patient would suffer a surgical complication, require a longer hospital stay, or be discharged to a facility of some kind.  

Fortunately, my patient was in excellent health and remained very active. Despite his age, he appeared to be a great candidate for surgery. Soon, he had signed the surgical consent and picked a date for his procedure. Everyone seemed satisfied.  

As I opened the door to leave, he stopped me. “Doctor, I realize that I can have the surgery. Thanks for that. I trust you. But, Doctor,” he paused, “should I have the surgery? I am 90-years-old, after all!”  

That, of course, is a completely different question. “I am quite certain you will do well,” I told him. “Would you like to think about this for a few days?”  

He and his daughter went home and discussed things with the rest of the family. When he returned for the surgery a few weeks later, he was relaxed, ready, and as “non-frail” as they come. It was a good day.

   The following is feedback received for this blog:

That was a very touching story. Thank you as always Dr. Campbell, it's always a joy to read your blog.


Hi Dr Campbell - beautiful post.

I learned some things too.

Glad you both had a good day in the OR. :)

- SeaSpray
http://seaspray-itsawonderfullife.blogspot.com/
Posted 4:04 PM
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Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other’s eyes for an instant?
-Henry David Thoreau    

It is almost 7:00 a.m. and I carry my briefcase and lunch bag from the car to my office. I nod to some of the night shift employees heading home. Another day has begun.  

I type my password and check the computer, reminding myself of the twenty patients I am scheduled to see today in the cancer clinic. A few new consults with untreated or recurrent cancers occupy the longer appointment slots. Follow-up and post-operative patients will be seen more quickly. It will be a full day but, hopefully, I will grab a few minutes around noon to eat my sandwich.  

I print out some office notes and carry them with me to our weekly 7:15 a.m. Tumor Conference. Several physicians present cases for discussion. We review the scans and the pathology, making recommendations for treatment. We determine who is eligible for a clinical trial. We look at recent research results. Usually, a brief discussion will mean better news for the patient; we have something to offer. A longer discussion can reflect the lack of good options.  

Clinic gets going. First is a 64-year-old man with a tongue cancer. Symptoms have been present for about six months. The scans are helpful. The cancer has not caused much damage. Only one lymph node is involved. Everything else looks fine. I run through the surgical risks, benefits, and alternatives. I prepare the consent form and look at the schedule. Any questions?  

He drops his head, hands gripping his knees. “My wife would have known what to ask,” he tells me. “She died six weeks ago. That’s why I waited to come in. I was caring for her.”  

I pause. There is a story pressing in on us from all sides. It floods the room.  

“I am so sorry,” I reply. “I am glad you are here. Your cancer is still very curable. Tell me about her.”  

We spend some time. I am soon behind on my schedule. There will be more stories that need to be shared before the day is through.  

A recent You-Tube video from the Cleveland Clinic is a spot-on rendering of what happens every day in a hospital. See what you think. No matter where we are, stories surround us, but they are closest to the surface when we are most vulnerable. Recognizing this reality should be part of the repertoire of every physician. We teach this to our students and residents. Even still, how easily we all forget.  

The day in clinic draws to an end and everyone has gone home. At 6:00 p.m., my charts are half-complete. I pick up my briefcase and lunch bag. I find my car and head home.

Tomorrow will be here soon enough.

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The following is feedback received for this blog:


   Dr Campbell, Your Reflections are always so moving including this one. The You-Tube Video from the Cleveland Clinic was excellent.

- Mary Ann, an RN
 
 
 
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Bruce Campbell, MD, grew up in the Chicago area, graduating from Purdue University and Rush Medical College. He completed an otolaryngology residency at the Medical College of Wisconsin and a head and neck surgery fellowship at M.D. Anderson Cancer Center. He has been on the faculty at Froedtert & the Medical College of Wisconsin since 1987.

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Dr. Bruce Campbell
Bruce Campbell, MD
Medical College of Wisconsin Otolaryngologist
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