Sexual Healing by Dr. Margarita Kressin

I just glanced at my calendar for this week and am amazed at how I’ve somehow scheduled meetings, dinner, appointments, a talk, pet nail clipping, and an oil change in one week; besides the fact that I work between 50 to 60 hours per week.
 
I marvel at my friends and colleagues who have kids. Their calendars are splattered with lessons, games, and doctors' appointments on top of their own agendas. (And people wonder why my husband and I don’t have kids yet; but that will be a future blog entry.)
 
Our lives, in general, seem to be filled with so much stuff. With better technology, we are able to do things more efficiently. This gives us permission to, in turn, cram more things into our busy lives more and more each year. And so we have to schedule things or else they won’t get done: grocery shopping, trips to Target, doing laundry, coffee, and, oh yes, sex. I tell my patients to schedule sexual activity and/or intimacy. We all have to if we want to keep the relationship going.

Some may argue that this way loses spontaneity. There is no romance, no surprises. Actually, there can be spontaneity and romance and the element of surprise — a bit like organized chaos. For example, the time and date may be scheduled, but what you as a couple do may completely be a surprise. I suggest taking turns planning the intimate activity. Sexual intercourse need not be the planned event. Watching a movie, sensual couple’s massage, necking (yes, making out, macking, fooling around, what else do people call it nowadays?). This is also why date night is very important to couples, to maintain intimacy.

Also, given the choice, would one rather have scheduled sex (or macking or massaging) than not have it at all? The next time you right down the next meeting on your iPhone or Palm, think about when you last had an intimate moment with your partner. If you can’t remember or it’s been too long, then put it in your schedule.