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A Conversation With Chaplain Steve Stern
Steve Stern is the author of "Lost and Found", a collection of short stories about the human experience.
| Cancer — along with other serious illness — does not respect people. It strikes during good times, during hard times, hits young and old, good and bad and everyone in between. Many people lose their way when they are ill and yet, according to Chaplain Steve Stern, they may also find their way at this time. |
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Lost and Found is available at Froedtert & The Medical College of Wisconsin Small Stones Health Resource Center (Brookfield) and the Small Stones Wellness Center (at the Clinical Cancer Center.)
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During his many years ministering to patients, Chaplain Stern has seen many people reconnect with themselves, with family members, and even with people they have never met. In his book, Lost and Found, Chaplain Stern shares just a few of his many experiences with patients — some of which even he — a veteran of unusual human experience — found surprising.
What have you found most remarkable about the changes people go through when they are fighting cancer or another serious illness?
 I have found these challenging life situations inevitably lead to transformation — not just in the physical changes a person goes through, but emotional and psychological changes as well. A disease like cancer forces people to stop what they’re doing and re-evaluate. They look at all they’ve done and what they believe and question everything. They may think ‘Gee, I gave all of my life to my job. I wish I’d spent more time with my wife and kids.’ This time of transformation provides an opportunity to make changes and go in a different direction even if only for a short while — and people often do just that.
Can you give an example?
One of the patients I met was a motorcycle gang member who had been diagnosed with terminal cancer. Before the diagnosis, he probably wouldn’t have given me the time of day. But when I met him in the hospital, it was different. I asked him if he wanted to talk and he said ‘sure.’ He invited me into his room and we made a connection that would have been unlikely before. In fact, it’s unlikely we would have met had his circumstances been different. He began talking to me about his life and as he talked, he became aware of damage he had done and mistakes he had made. And he began to wonder if there was forgiveness and hope for someone like him. For him that was his moment of transformation.
Why did you decide to write about your experiences in your book, Lost and Found?
I had all these stories in my mind for quite some time, and I always thought I should write them down. The impetus came from a friend I met a few years ago, who urged me to share these stories after I counseled his brother-in-law. With his encouragement and backing, I finally did.
What do you hope people will take away from your book?
Personal connections are not easy to establish and maintain. I hope Lost and Found will offer encouragement to people who have family members or friends who have lost their way and that it will inspire them to keep loving and reaching out to those who are struggling.
I also want people to know the book is about more than cancer. Every individual you meet has something going on that they are upset about — they’re trying to figure out what to do. Offering a smile and a chance to talk can be meaningful — even if you don’t realize it. The smallest actions are door openers. The smallest acts of kindness can give the struggling person enough to keep going.
About the author: Chaplain Steve Stern served as a parish pastor for 19 years in Minnesota and Wisconsin. For the past 23 years, he has worked as a hospital chaplain with cancer patients in Milwaukee. He is board-certified by the Association of Professional Chaplains. Chaplain Stern and his wife, Jean, have four grown children and four grandchildren. Chaplain Stern continues to serve part time as a hospital chaplain.
Last Review Date: June 10, 2009
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