"None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm."
-Thoreau
My mother, bless her over-90-year-old heart, received a pacemaker this week. The procedure went perfectly. She is fine and is recovering beautifully.
While sitting at her bedside in the hospital, we read the brochure that she received along with her pacemaker. My mother and I reviewed the warnings she must keep in mind with her new device. For example:
- My mother should not hold a cell phone closer than 6 inches to her new pacemaker.
- My mother should not stand closer than 12 inches to a slot machine.
These are good and reasonable suggestions. Although she rarely uses her cell phone, she does own one. The company suggests that she hold the phone on the ear opposite the device when she needs to make a call. We made a note of that. Since my mother never gambles, she doesn’t have to worry about slot machines. Again, the company appears to suggest that it is safe to play the slots but big winners should not hug the machines after hitting a jackpot. Now THAT restriction might make a difference to some of my patients.
We continued reading. My mother was also warned against the following activities:
- My mother should stand no closer than 12 inches to a chain saw.
- My mother should be no closer than 2 feet from an arc welder.
- My mother should NEVER use either a stun gun or a jackhammer.
These are also very reasonable suggestions, but less likely to have a direct impact on her day-to-day existence. I questioned her closely and she repeatedly assured me that she had long ago given up her aspirations to become a lumberjack, welder, peace officer or heavy construction worker.
Despite her claims, I am not totally certain that I can trust her. If any of you spot my mother heading off to either a job site or the casino, please let me know immediately. With the enhanced energy she is expecting from her new pacemaker, you never know.
_____
By the way, Mom gave me permission to share this story. -BHC
The following is feedback received for this blog:
Happy to hear your mother is doing well. I have a brother-in-law who did have to give up using a chain saw for cutting wood which with the increased energy was frustrating for him. The trade-offs that life hands us! :)
- rlbates
http://rlbatesmd.blogspot.com/
very entertaining-I'll keep my eyes open for her!!
Y N RN
I think this is the funniest blog you've written yet! In our litigious society it seems the practice of good medicine can be, at times, a bit inane, or even absurd! Thanks for sharing this anecdote. I also enjoyed your speech to the new M1s.
- Lisa Kodadek
